My Jakarta: Bernadette Maria, Agnostic

Most say faith is a personal matter. But is choosing not to have any faith at all an equally suitable choice, in the eyes of Indonesian society and the law?

While the recent arrest of an Indonesian atheist for airing his beliefs has sparked a dialogue about the state’s place in religion, Bernadette Maria’s nonconfrontational agnosticism rejects the convictions of both sides of the faith debate. 

The 22-year-old clinical psychology student’s perspective is above the fray and down to earth. Her theology runs only as deep as a belief that all faiths — or no faith at all — should be respected equally by government and its people.

Since you follow no religion, are you more ‘liberal’ in doing things considered sinful? 

I make my decisions regarding the so-called sinful things based on their real life pros and cons. For example, regarding marijuana, I gather information from the Internet, from many different sources, and make my call. So it’s not because I have no religion that I tend to be more liberal. It’s just that without religion, I can optimize my own rational decision-making system that is dogma-free. 

Do you fear hell, or missing out on heaven? 

No, I do not, because the concept of the two places or conditions is too simple, strict and absolute, whereas morality is not black and white, along with unpredictable what-if scenarios. For example, religion says that abortion is wrong, but what about rape victims? This is one reason why I don’t like the concept of religion. It’s somewhat absurd to judge humans based on these teachings, especially with the fact that religion is somewhat resistant to evolving along with human civilization. 

How did you become an agnostic? 

What I am right now is more like a phase in my life, rather than a fixed conclusion. Up until I was 15 years old, I was quite the religious person. I was until I read about the women in the reign of the Taliban, which further led me to articles on how women have been and are still now being disadvantaged by religions. 

After some time, it came to me that God has nothing to do with those problems. For now, I consider humans and religions as the cause of terrible things, like war. So currently, I don’t believe in any religions. 

What about God’s existence? 

As an agnostic, I don’t say that I don’t believe in God. My stance is, I don’t know if God exists or not, and I don’t care to find out. I don’t care because for me, that doesn’t really affect my condition. I won’t be a better person if God exists, nor become a worse person if God doesn’t exist. I think it has no impact on my life. 

However, if God does exist, I have lots of questions for Him or Her to answer. 

Do you belong to any formal group of fellow freethinkers? 

No, but there are some friends of mine who ended up becoming agnostics or even atheists. But sometimes I feel that they are especially annoying when they try to convince others that God does not exist. I mean, what’s the difference with religious people who try to argue with you that God does exist. The existence debate is something that will never be over. It’s impossible to prove either God’s existence or non-existence. 

People need to think for themselves and not just take for granted what others say. What’s wrong is for you to go against your own belief. If a particular religion is making your life uncomfortable, you might need to let go of your religion. However, if you feel that you are comfortable with your religion, I wouldn’t recommend that you leave it. So just do and believe whatever you want, as long as it’s still legal. 

Do you think society would be better off without religion? 

For me, sure. But from a psychological perspective, I fully understand others who may just collapse without religion, like those who have just lost their parents or loved ones and have no friends to talk to. Without the psychologically comforting and calming assurance of religion, they may not have the strength to live. 

Besides, due to the uncompromising nature of religion, the less dominant religion is, the less reason for minority oppression. 

What are your thoughts on the many cases of violence attributed to religion? 

Put simply, I believe that religion can and should be regulated by government, and not the other way around. On a related issue, I believe that government should treat agnostics and atheists equally. Currently, we are outlaws, as it is somewhat illegal to have no faith. 

The Constitution guarantees the freedom to have religion or other belief systems, and agnostics and atheists should be classified and protected as an ‘other belief system.’ The United States of America also uses the words ‘under God’ in its Pledge of Allegiance, yet that does not automatically mean that non-believers are criminals who can be shunned from society. 

Will your stance toward religion change? 

I might consider changing if religions start to show support for gay marriage and women’s equality. If that happen, then there’s less reason for me to go against the teachings of religion. 

Bernadette Maria was talking to Denny Firmanto Halim.